SOUTH AFRICA, Jan 14 — Dating is good, it is meant to be fun and nice, it is also meant to be done with caution:Humans were created to be couples; we have the need to be together, whatever your preferences are. We seek to socialize in friendship groups, family groups and personal relationships. These are normal, healthy and in fact necessary… but please take the time to protect yourself. Please send a courtesy link or email where you publish to: hester-lynne@mweb
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ating is good, it is meant to be fun and nice, it is also meant to be done with caution:
Humans were created to be couples; we have the need to be together, whatever your preferences are. We seek to socialize in friendship groups, family groups and personal relationships. These are normal, healthy and in fact necessary… but please take the time to protect yourself. Meeting new people is what life is all about, whether you meet a person in an art gallery or on the internet, you have a chance at meeting the love of your life, but also meeting your worst nightmare!
1. Do a little research: When you first meet a person, enjoy the moment and then start doing your homework. Go onto the internet and make sure this person is not a registered offender (sexual, or any other). Ask around, find out from his/her friends or people who he/she works with or places he/she goes to if there is anything you should know about your prospective date.
2. Take precautions: Before setting off on your first formal date, do the following: Make sure your cell phone is charged, loaded with time and on your person. Make sure you have a condom on your person. No one knows what the moment may bring, with AIDS and all the other sexual diseases so prevalent, not to speak of unwanted pregnancies, even though you have no such plans, do make sure you have a condom. Make sure you have money. If your date goes sour, you can make your way home by public transport only if you have money. Leave details of your date (his/her name, contact number, where you are planning to go) with someone you trust or written down and placed in an obvious place in your home.
3. Get to know your date before: Go to public places and NOT private or remote place for a date before you have done the following: Until you get to know your date, make sure you like the person, if there are things you don’t like, remember they get worse not better once you have a relationship. Don’t give to much private details of yourself until you know you can trust the person you are seeing. Trust your instincts, if you experience negative feelings about your date, postpone any intimacy until you have clarity about what is worrying you. (Keep in mind that he/she is on their best behavior at this stage – it gets worse, not better!)
4. Don’ts: Whether you are dating a man or a woman the following are no-no’s: Don’t be overkeen; this makes the person who has not made up his/her mind yet feel edgy and cornered. Don’t cut your date off from your friends or other people. This has the affect of making your date feel that you might become to clingy and possessive in future. Don’t try to please your date to the extent that you allow him/her to do or say things you would not normally do or tolerate. Don’t put up with substandard behavior from your date. Someone who does not make your happiness a priority lacks respect and consideration once again a trait that only gets worse with time and could lead to abuse in the future. (Remember the same applies to you – have respect for you date’s wellbeing and feelings)
5. Do’s: Be yourself – don’t act or try to be someone you aren’t, remember you cannot go on pretending forever, the truth will out. Treat your date with respect and make him/her feel like an equal. Never talk down to another person. Always treat another person the way you would like to be treated yourself. Listen with interest when your date talks, don’t be thinking what you will be saying next. Identify all the things that you like about yourself. If you focus on these qualities, you will have far more confidence in yourself. Be responsible – remember your safety, happiness and future together depend on yourself, and how you prepare, handle yourself and what you choose to do. Keep an open mind. Be prepared to have your opinions, thoughts and preconceived ideas changed IF it is for the good. This could open up a whole new world of fun in a safe and exciting way.
For more related information about Dating, with loads of interesting articles and even more in depth dating tips go to: http://www.hester-lynne.com/dating/
You may publish this article in your blog, newsletter or on your web site as long as the by-line is included and the article is included in its entirety. I also ask that you activate any html links found in the article and in the by-line. Please send a courtesy link or email where you publish to: hester-lynne@mweb.co.za
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