UNITED STATES, Jan 14 — I have no idea how many age old dilemmas exist, but I'm sure there's a mountain of them. One of those ugly dilemmas is when you are married to someone your family says they don't like. Honestly, my heart goes out to you, because if you let it, you will be caught in a push-pull situation that never ends. Don't trade off your family for your pride
I
have no idea how many age old dilemmas exist, but I'm sure there's a mountain of them. One of those ugly dilemmas is when you are married to someone your family says they don't like. Honestly, my heart goes out to you, because if you let it, you will be caught in a push-pull situation that never ends. You love your family and their opinion matters but they are critical of the person you married. The laws of loyalty, which are spiritual in nature, can guide you to do the right thing. marriage counseling won't work in this situation because the study of spiritual laws is not part of western psychological training. A marriage counselor will not ultimately rely on principles other than ones that make you think you feel better. It is not that they discount spiritual principles; they just don't recognize them. Yet in situations like this, spiritual principles will give you all of the help you will ever need.
Loyalty Is The Highest Law
The first question that comes to mind is to whom you owe your highest loyalty. The simple answer is your spouse. The graciousness of your parents bringing you into this world and caring for you is a gift without comparison. But it is a gift that does not command an eternal debt. They knew what they were getting into (OK, maybe not completely) when they chose to have children and it includes letting go of you in stages as you become an adult. The final stage of letting go of their control over you happens when you get married. At that time you become the new foundation for future generations. Your loyalty is to your spouse first and secondly to your children.
Be a Peacemaker
Part of the obligation you have to your spouse is to be supportive at all times and in all situations. When you have any evil thought or utter an evil word about your spouse you are being disloyal. The very easy test that you could administer to yourself as to whether you are being disloyal or not is to simply ask yourself, "If my spouse heard what I am about to say would it hurt his/her feelings?" If there is any chance it would hurt their feelings, silence is the rule. I bring this point up because the chances of your family not liking your spouse due to their own interactions are slim, unless you provided further ammunition to them. So your mission is to heal the rifts that exist between your family and your spouse to the best of your ability.
Here are 4 things you can do that will help:
Apologize to your family for exaggerating your spouse's flaws. Admit your own weakness of anger and promise you won't say bad things about him/her again.
Apologize to your spouse and eat humble pie. Do not become defensive by their reaction. Become more and more humble, disarmingly humble.
Behave in a way that demonstrates your loyalty. Don't ask your family members to change their minds. Ask both sides to get along for the sake of family harmony.
Tell your spouse in no uncertain terms that you have learned your lesson and want them to know your loyalty to them is your highest priority.
Although there are cases for which the above may not apply, in most cases that I have come across the above is right on. Don't trade off your family for your pride. Be the best spouse who ever lived and tell your lover, "I love you."
Communicate directly with Paul Friedman, the author of this article. Ask questions, send suggestions, comments, engage in conversation, or perhaps you would like to submit a project.
Click Here to ask a question, send a comment, or proposal.
Misplaced political correctness is hampering efforts to halt forced marriage in the UK, according to a major new report “Ending Forced Marriage “ by the think tank, Demos. The report forms part of the “ Because I am a Girl “ c
Plus size wedding gown, shopping doesn’t have to be traumatic. Shopping for your plus size wedding gown can be so much easier if you know in advance which styles will flatter you. Dress Slimmer on your Wedding Day with Body Fit and Style. The f
A lovely evening gown or wedding dress can be made even more stunning with the right accessories. In fact, on OK dress and be made beautiful with the right jewelry or shoes or other piece. It’s not about hiding your features or dress. You don&r
Even though you’ve stocked up on all the most recent bridal publications you can find, it seems that they don’t really help you in organizing and planning your own wedding. Sure, there’s a multitude of pages gorgeous
Weddings are a very expensive business. Currently, the average wedding cost can range from $20,000 to $25,000, and that’s just for the ordinary type weddings. The cost can easily go up from there depending on the amount of "
A wedding guest book allows your guests to write personal messages of good luck and wishes to you both. They make a wonderful keepsake of your wedding day. Aside from the traditional paper wedding
Meanings and associations are applied to many things - flowers, gemstones and colors. So when it comes to choosing your wedding colors, do you know what your choices are actually implying? Here are some examples about how different cultures and
Beach weddings have become very popular over the last few years & designing your beach wedding reception can be a lot of fun. The seaside & the beach all offer much by way of inspiration for your rece
The extravagance and glitz of an Indian wedding is sure to enthrall all those witnessing the sacred ceremony. The over indulgence of relatives, friends and families makes the Indian wedding a not-to-be missed event which involves a lot of traditions,
The autumn season gives so much inspiration in terms of color & motifs, so when it comes to your fall wedding invitations you needn’t look far for inspiration. No matter what the style of your wedding - for
We live in a very difficult world. We are surrounded by criticism and nonsupport and so we are always on the defensive. It seems most of the time we are faced with challenges; prosperity and happiness do not come naturally to most people, they have
People are starting to become more aware of the pitfalls and dangers of marriage counseling. I personally cannot think of a more misleading group of so-called professionals. Just the other day I met an individual who told me the marriage counselor
Very few people actually get a divorce because of adultery. Of course it's difficult to track the statistics since the advent of uncontested divorce. Anyone involved in the divorce system will tell you that adultery is something most people get beyon
Most people, not only you, are insecure about their relationships. It's not just marital or significant other relationships that can be difficult. Maintaining healthy relationships is universally a problematic experience. Those who deny it are eit
I'm not much of a boater but occasionally I like to go for a ride so I'll rent a boat to take out on the lake. My boating training and experience is old and not very reliable, but it's enough for me to enjoy myself and not put others in danger. I w
Syndication
tweet
PDF version
Printable version
Publisher HTML version
Discussions (0)
Email Article
Post New Comment